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Posts Tagged ‘food’

I spy with my little eye …

At work today, mum was wondering what I was staring at. I was sitting stock still for 5 minutes and didn’t take my eyes away. She laughed when she realised…. it was a bag of dog treats!

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Roxy Foxy gets more food than I do!

I got really excited when I got home today as there were two humongous cans of delicious-looking dog food in the kitchen. Man, anything that’s different from my usual boring-chicken-flavoured-bits-in-weird-shapes-that-always-taste-the-same would be delicious. I was salivating, thinking YAY I’m getting something tasty for dinner tonight. I couldn’t wait. I was already dreaming of thick brown gravy and chunks of moist meat, REAL chicken and REAL beef with interesting bits in it.

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Then the bombshell dropped.

They’re for Roxy Foxy! All his! No fair!

I spotted him in the garden. Correction, “my” garden. Can you spot him?

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He even pretends to be a dog! I will have to watch my food now. I don’t think mum will mistake him for me and give him my food by mistake. Ummmm, I’m not sure really. What do you think?

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House of Canapes

Mum took me to the House of Canapes last night after work.

(mum) – It’s really called the House of Commons!

It was really exciting. Mum had her bag searched by security and got a body search. Thank goodness, they didn’t body search me as well. We went upstairs to the MacMillan room (all the rooms were named after politicians) and mum started working the crowd. They were talking about new phone technology for deaf people. There were speeches and lots of clapping. Best of all was the constant trays of food going around the room. I was sooo hungry. I kept jumping up as the waiters walked past, hoping to snatch a bit. But no luck!

Lots of people said how cute I was. I spotted William from the BBC with his big video camera, pulling silly faces at me! Mum, will I get on TV this time? And Jamie was taking pictures of me! I’m gonna be famous! I love hogging the limelight! I didn’t stop wagging my tail all night.

As we left, we got a nice picture of Big Ben. It looks much better at night, don’t you think?

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Eddie is a dog on a mission. With your help, he wants to change legislation in the U.S.A. to make sure chemicals are safe before they’re put on the market. Check out his blog Pets for the Environment. I’ve added it to my blog roll. They’ve done their research! Mum was really annoyed to find that hoomans don’t test chemicals to make sure they’re safe, before putting them into our food. It’s disgraceful. No wonder I often have an upset tummy!

You can help by joing Pets for the Environment. There are lots of other things you can do to help as well, such as checking ingredient labels and only buying quality food, and avoiding non-stick cooking pans (ooooh, Mum won’t like this one!). Follow the link for more ideas.

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Where’s the cork?

I threw up my dinner on Tuesday night. The next morning, mum gave me breakfast and I managed to keep it down. But then I got the runs. I’ve been ill for 5 days with the runs. Poor me, poor mum. She’s been taking me outside every hour for the first few days and I couldn’t even wait until we got to the park. Jane says it’s because I’ve been stuffing my face again. Mum even stood over me in the pouring rain and held her umbrella over me while she got wet.

Mum took me to the doggy doctor on Saturday. He took my temperature and said it’s fine. He had to keep repeating himself as mum was so tired she couldn’t make sense of what he was saying. I’d been waking her at 4am for a few nights, you see. To go outside and do what I had to do. So, his prescription was 6 cans of special food for me, it’s a different brand, not my usual IAMS or Bakers. Mum says it’s called ‘Damn Expensive’. Funny name for a brand, that. Anyway, it tastes really good. And it made me feel better.

Mum looked at the ingredients on the Damn Expensive tin:
Meat & animal derivatives, cereals, eggs & egg derivatives, minerals, derivatives of vegetable origin.
Highly digestible ingredients: turkey, rice, liver, maize, dried whole egg.

Average analysis;
Protein 7.3%
Fat 4.2%
Fibre 0.2%
Ash 1.9%
Moisture 71.3%
Calcium 0.31%
Phosphorus 0.22%
Sodium 0.12%
Potassium 0.29%
Vitamin D3 430iu/kg
Vitamin E 172mg/kg
Copper 3.4mg/kg
Coloured with iron oxide and caramel

Then mum looked at my usual Bakers food, which is dried biscuits.
Ingredients;
Cereals, meat & animal derivatives, vegetable protein extracts, oils and fats, derivatives of vegetable origin, various sugars, minerals, vegetables. With antioxidants, coloured with and preserved with EC additives.

Typical analysis;
Protein 23%
Fat 10%
Ash 6.5%
Fibre 3%
Calcium 1.2%
Vitamin A 12,000 iu/kg
Vitamin D3 800 iu/kg
Vitamin E 60 mg/kg
Copper sulphate 18 mg/kg
Iron sulphate 215 mg/kg

Hmmm hmmm hmmm! Mum thinks the tinned stuff is healthier and smells nicer. I agree. But she says she’d be quite happy to cook steak and eggs for me – when I stop licking the pavement!

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Fiddlesticks and drumsticks

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It was 7pm. Karen popped her head round our door and said,

– There’s some food in the conference room if you’re hungry.

Hungry? Who says we aren’t?!

– It’s cold so you’ll have to heat it up in the microwave.

(Who cares?!)

We ran over as fast as we could. There were platters of food laid out. Onion rings. Chicken nuggets. Chicken drumsticks. Dips. Pizza. Garlic mushrooms. Fruit.

Suddenly Patrice started shouting.

– He’s got a drumstick! He’s eaten chicken bones!

She tried to open my mouth but it was far, far too late. Mum said,

– It’s too late. He’s eaten it. He gets food down his neck faster than you would believe. It’s gone! Give up, Patrice!

Patrice was still trying to get me to open my mouth, while Karen, Kathy and mum stood there laughing at my greed. Mum picked up the bin and put it on a chair. Out of my reach. Patrice asked how my diet was going. Mum said she thinks I’m slowly losing a bit. They all agreed that I look better. Wahey! Does that mean I’m sexy?

So why am I still on this stoopid diet?

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All wrapped up

I was cooped up in mum’s office all day (apart from playing with the ball in the park at lunchtime). So when she opened the door at 5pm, I was out like a shot. I went straight for Karen’s office whilst mum’s back was turned.

Karen walked into mum’s office, holding her hands up. Mum took one look …

– Oh no. What’s he done now?

I had taken Karen’s lunch out of her bin and eaten it. I’ve got radar for this kind of thing, even if it’s at the other end of the corridor or the office. Hey, listen up dogs! This is what happens when you get put on a diet by stoopid hoomans. Your food radar goes nuclear!

The problem was, Karen’s lunch had been wrapped in cling film. For my American friends, this is the same as Saran wrap. It doesn’t taste of anything! But this cling film had something REALLY tasty on it so I gulped the lot before Karen could get it out of my mouth. I think she panicked a bit. Patrice told us that Kirby has eaten all sorts. Then they got to talking about the size of Kirby’s doings and my doings…… huh, women! Mum then got on to the doggy doctor, who said to bring me in ASAP and to not have any breakfast so they can x-ray me.

We went home, I did my doings and mum had a look – no cling film. And no dinner either.

When Kyle heard about this, he laughed, as Stan has done worse. He’s eaten carrier bags, toys and sand. Stan isn’t a gulper like me, he’s a chewer so he didn’t wolf the lot down in one big bag, but he sure needed a hand in passing it out. Even the toys came out ok – but not used again!

Maybe I had better stop trying to eat my tennis balls.

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